2.22.11

Just bought the new Adele album from iTunes...also purchased 'Life In a Northern Town'...do you all remember that song. I've always loved it. The Point (104.7) has been playing it a lot recently. I think I actually remember the video...sort of. Actually, who knows if I really remember. Often times, I'll think that I remember something and then we check with my sister and it turns out that, no, I've gotten it wrong. A lot of my memories come from pictures. My mind remembers as an event that I remember, but looking back, I think that the photo just sparks a recollection of a specific point in time, not really a memory. Honestly, I'm going to have to blame most of this on the MS. Although my memory has never been very good - I've always had trouble distinguishing dreams from actual events that happened - I don't know if it has always had to do with MS. It could, because those of us afflicted don't say that we "got" MS at a certain time....we say that we were diagnosed. The memory/dream issue has gotten worse recently, mostly because my dreams have become so mundane - seriously, I'll dream about feeding the dog, or paying a bill, or maybe something a bit out of the ordinary but not so strange that I can say for sure that it wasn't real. I also have trouble remembering if I've said something or I've just thought it. This becomes clear when I've told Jamie something twice in one night. Then, the next morning, I'll excitedly tell him again. The first time that Jamie said that I had done this, I was shocked and somewhat startled. It can be very disconcerting to hear that you've just said something for third time and not even have a flicker of a memory of saying it before. I use my phone (a Droid) a lot to help me remember things. I know that sometimes having an aide to assist with remembering can actually make things worse, but I don't think that is necessarily true in my case. I hate when I forget things...it can be something really basic. I manage to keep a pretty positive attitude about the having MS, but to be sure, there are definitely times that it can weigh pretty heavilly on the psyche.