2.28.11

I've been finding myself kind of irritable recently...I read in the last issue of Momentum (the Nation MS Society magazine) how mood swings can be more prevalent in people with MS. I know that I can't blame all of it on MS, but it does make some sense.

Our Space http://www.nationalmssociety.org/multimedia-library/momentum-magazine/momentum-spring-2011/index.aspx

The funny thing is, and I think that this happens with everyone, is that I can tell when I'm feeling grouchy but I can't seem to do anything about it. I guess the solution is to just take each day as it comes...actually, that seems to be the best plan of action for living with MS in general.

2.27.11

In an effort to help my friends and family understand more about MS, here are a couple of links:

http://www.pneuro.com/publications/ms/index.html

http://www.uspharmacist.com/content/d/featured_articles/c/12116/

2.26.11

Watching Julie and Julia...I have no illusions of grandeur that my blog will impact anyone in such a way, but I'm still enjoying myself. Bon Appetit!

In the movie, Julie is talking about the love letters between Julia and Paul. While going through the many papers that we ended up with from Jamie's grandfather after he died, I discovered letters from his granfather to his grandmother. They are numbered, but it seems that I only have #31 - #54. I wish that I knew where the first 30 letters were. Hopefully, in some of my research, I will find them. I haven't had the chance to read through the letters, but Jamie's grandfather always ended with a beautiful greeting to Jamie's grandmother. It's a nice reminder of the importance of letting the people you love know how you feel. I love you, Jamie.

Not feeling so inspired tonight, so this is a short one...'til next time.

2.23.11

I'm a spoonie. For those of you who don't know what that means, here's a link.

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory-written-by-christine-miserandino/

If I didn't take one of my medications, Provigil, I would have to hold many more spoons in reserve. On the days that I've forgotten to take Provigil, or my prescription has run out, I can barely make it to noon without having to leave work to go home and take a nap. When I've had to do that, I usually end up taking a 4 hour nap. Unbelievably, I am able to sleep through the whole night afterwards. At night I take Ambien. It's not so much to help me fall asleep but to help keep me asleep. When I haven't taken the Ambien, I wake up at 4 to 4:30 in the morning. At that point, I'm not going take a pill so the only thing that I've found that works is to take a shower with the lights off. The dark and the warm water helps me to feel cozy and sleepy and I can fall back to sleep. You know, you'd think that if I stopped taking both the meds, I'd be fine...unfortunately, it doesn't work that way.

2.22.11

Just bought the new Adele album from iTunes...also purchased 'Life In a Northern Town'...do you all remember that song. I've always loved it. The Point (104.7) has been playing it a lot recently. I think I actually remember the video...sort of. Actually, who knows if I really remember. Often times, I'll think that I remember something and then we check with my sister and it turns out that, no, I've gotten it wrong. A lot of my memories come from pictures. My mind remembers as an event that I remember, but looking back, I think that the photo just sparks a recollection of a specific point in time, not really a memory. Honestly, I'm going to have to blame most of this on the MS. Although my memory has never been very good - I've always had trouble distinguishing dreams from actual events that happened - I don't know if it has always had to do with MS. It could, because those of us afflicted don't say that we "got" MS at a certain time....we say that we were diagnosed. The memory/dream issue has gotten worse recently, mostly because my dreams have become so mundane - seriously, I'll dream about feeding the dog, or paying a bill, or maybe something a bit out of the ordinary but not so strange that I can say for sure that it wasn't real. I also have trouble remembering if I've said something or I've just thought it. This becomes clear when I've told Jamie something twice in one night. Then, the next morning, I'll excitedly tell him again. The first time that Jamie said that I had done this, I was shocked and somewhat startled. It can be very disconcerting to hear that you've just said something for third time and not even have a flicker of a memory of saying it before. I use my phone (a Droid) a lot to help me remember things. I know that sometimes having an aide to assist with remembering can actually make things worse, but I don't think that is necessarily true in my case. I hate when I forget things...it can be something really basic. I manage to keep a pretty positive attitude about the having MS, but to be sure, there are definitely times that it can weigh pretty heavilly on the psyche.

2.20.11

Jamie's aunt and uncle were visiting yesterday and today from Toronto. For lunch today, his mom, his aunt & uncle, cousin, another aunt & uncle, and his nephew came over for pizza. We had a great time. It also seemed to be the weekend for Jamie completing items from his "Honeydew" list :). Before I got out of bed this morning, Jamie had put up the mailbox that we bought back in the fall. We don't get mail deliverd directly to our house, but we wanted something to have for people to be able to drop stuff off in.

We also went and bought a new TV today.....OMG...I can see everything...so clearly. We decided it was time since the TV in our bedroom is dying. Seems that one of the tubes is going and it whines everytime we turn it on. Also I got a new wireless keyboard and mouse today. Feels like this weekend was both productive and enjoyable.

Short post today, but I wanted to make sure that I wrote something down...keep the flow going.

2.19.11

Finished and submitted our taxes...glad that's out of the way. We recently ended up with a hospital table - you know, the kind that slide under the bed and over your lap? Except I've wanted to used this one in the living room over my spot on the couch...the chaise lounge. With the wheels, there wasn't enough room to slide the bottom part under the couch. So, Jamie had rigged something for me with the promise of finding a more permanent solution. The temporary solution was socks zip-tied around two of the feet once the wheels had been removed (we didn't want to scratch the floor). Under the other two feet were wood blocks (not secured) and the whole thing covered in socks. This meant that every time I moved the table, the feet would fall off the blocks...grrrrrrrrrr...I'd had enough today. Jamie, my love, finally made my permanent solution - feet....without socks :) Little things make me happy.

I was reading today from the magazine that I get from the MS Society, Momentum. There was an article in it about mood swings. I take Zoloft to help with anxiet and depression, but I have definitely been noticing more mood swings recently. Fortunately, Jamie is very patient with me and is forgiving about the flip-flops.

2.16.11

Wow...I've been having a lot of fun working on the family tree on Ancestry.com. Jamie and I ended up with a lot of documents from his grandfather. I found letters between his grandfather and his grandmother...their letters are proof that absence can make the heart grow fonder. Not that I want to spend time away from Jamie, but I can see how spending time apart could make letters more creative.

Going of on a completely different tangent....

Recently, I've been finding myself waking up overheated in the middle of the night. The weight of our covers haven't changed. The pajamas that I wear at night haven't changed. I couldn't figure out why things had changed. Jamie was having the same problem. The power went out for a couple of hours a week or so ago when we had the big storm. Mr. Smarty Pants realized that the thermostat was reset when the power died. Aha! The temperature for sleeping was 5 degrees above what we were used to. Doesn't sound like much, but I definitely think that made the difference. I can't wait to go to bed tonight to have the right temperature....

Hawk update

After looking at our Audobon book, it seems that what we saw was an immature (juvenile) red-tailed hawk. Sure was big for not being an adult.

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2.15.11

I guess yesterday's post was a bit ramble but I was getting my blogging legs again after a long hiatus. Over the past week I'be been camping up my fundraising efforts. As of now, I've raised $350. Great start! Every year as I start this process I'm so touched by the response that I get to my fundraising requests from family & friends. I know that I have said it before, but I feel amazingly loved <3. Definitely makes the harder days easier.

This morning as we were getting ready for work, Jamie noticed that we had a huge hawk sitting in a tree in our backyard. Still have to figure out what kind it is...Jamie just suggested that maybe it was an osprey. I'm going check in our Audobon field guide when we get home. Here's a picture....

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...looking for an outlet, I guess

It's kind of tough sometimes when people look at me and comment how I'm not using my cane. It can be a Catch-22. They're right...it is good that I'm not using my cane, but my feet are still numb even though you can't tell just from looking at me. I don't drive because I don't feel comfortable that my reaction time woould be fast enough if something or someone jumped in front of the car. This can be isolating...fortunately there's Facebook...my way of social contact. Also, fortunately, I have Ollie, my dog. I don't mean to sound like I'm discounting Jamie, but he definitely has his own activities and there are nights when I find myself at home alone. Well, except for the dog and the cat.

I keep myself busy though. I have been working on Jamie's dad's side of the family tree. What a lot of discoveries there are...this could be a never ending project, if I wanted it to be. All I have to do is pick another branch of the tree. I'm definitely looking forward to researching my side of the family, but that becomes a bit more complicated. My parents are both from Europe. My dad came over on a boat when he was 7. My mom came here when she was 18. In order to research this line on Ancestry, I would need a world subscription. That is significantly more expensive, so I'm going to stick with the Brownell side for now.

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